Water Bomb
by Troll99
Summary: Harper strikes again
1. Dylan is getting wet

Title: Water Bomb  
  
Summary: Harper is childish again  
  
Rating: G  
  
Spoilers: none  
  
Pirings: none …….. really  
  
Disclaimer: Characters belong solely to Tribune Entertainment.  
  
Author's note: It's my first humour try and english is not my mothers' tongue – so, please bear that in mind as you read & rewiev it  
  
  
  
"What are you doing?"  
  
"What does it look like I'm doing, huh? Have you never seen someone doing this?" Harper was a bit annoyed that Trance asked such a stupid question. "I'm filling this tiny balloons with water, OK?"  
  
"I see, what you are doing," snapped Trance, "but, what is it good for? What is the purpose of it?"  
  
"Purpose? Huh, let me think ….. none, I think, just fun!" exclaimed Harper while filling another balloon with water.  
  
"I really don't see any fun in filling water into balloons," was Trance still skeptical. She really had no idea, what fun could this possibly present.  
  
"Well, Trance, you see: fun comes later. There are some steps you should undertake before it becomes funny. First, you take a small balloon, like this one. Second, you fill it with water; see? Third, you bind it, so that you get a small water bomb. And finally, you throw it, just like this!!!" And Harper threw a bomb in her direction.  
  
It travelled through air in a nice loop and landed inches from Trance's feet, exploding on touchdown with a big "SPLASH". Unaware of the threat, Trance failed to escape, so the bomb achieved the best possible effect and soaked her wet up to her waist.  
  
"HAAARPEER!!" yelled Trance furiously, "I'm going to kill you!!!" She reached for the engineer, but grabbed in the air, for he managed to make a run for the door. She considered whether to run after him, but finally decided not to do it. Her pants were completely wet and shoes full of water. So she decided in favour of going to change. She hated to be wet (in clothes!).  
  
As she stepped out of machine shop, she caught a glimpse of Harper, standing behind the door, with another water bomb in his hands. Trying to avoid another attack, she made a run of her life down the corridor, with Harper in close pursuit. He was quick and yet he just couldn't get himself into position to throw the terrible weapon.  
  
After few turns, he finally got a possibility to use the bomb and, without hesitating, threw it. Just to see Dylan, coming round the corner and getting right in the trajectory of his projectile.  
  
In that moment he felt like he could also see the future, just like Trance. He watched his bomb and Dylan getting closer …. and closer … and closer … and … "SPLASH!" It was a perfect hit! Dylan was hit directly in the head, with bomb exploding violently! Harper just covered his mouth with a hand, trying not to laugh out loud. Dylan, however, was apparently not in such a good mood, with water dripping from his hair and gasping for air while trying hopelessly to get rid of the balloon remnants, clinging on his head and covering his eyes. Trance vanished instantly to avoid the inevitable.  
  
"MIIIISTER HAAARPEEER!" growled Dylan so loud, so that Harper got the impression, even metal walls of Andromeda vibrated. "WHAT ON EARTH DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING!!!!" He finally managed to get rid of the balloon and furiously threw it on the floor, staring at Harper with angry eyes.  
  
"Ahhhmm, huh, errghhh …. sorry Dylan, I really didn't want to hit you. I was merely trying to get Trance," screamed Harper, turned around and made a run for his life. 


	2. It's Tyr's turn now

OK guys, here's another one. ………… you asked for it, so don' blame me:D  
  
For disclaimer, see above.  
  
  
  
Harper was racing down the corridor, carrying rest of his water balloons in his hands. His only thought at the moment was how to avoid Dylan's revenge. He was sure, that this mishap would have some consequences. He just couldn't figure out which. Well, Dylan was not particularly homicidal person, so his life shouldn't be endangered. On the other hand, there could be some punishment hanging over his head.  
  
"Holy shit, did it really have to be Dylan? Of all persons aboard, him! God, there's only one worse thing. It could have been Tyr!"  
  
He was pretty sure, Dylan was not chasing him, but, just to feel more secure, he continued running.  
  
Beka and Tyr walked to the bridge, discussing the latest events. They strongly disagreed about Tyr's role. He was sure, that there were no other possibilities open. He was virtually forced to kill that Than. Otherwise, the whole mission could turn into disaster. On the other hand, Beka wasn't quite sure Tyr's actions were appropriate.  
  
"Tyr, I've told you before, that sometimes it really is more acceptable, to avoid the fight. You had the chance, but nooooo …. You *had* to go killing that creature. Yeah, I know, you felt threatened, but anyway. You could have retreated on time."  
  
"Definitely not! Hadn't I killed him, he'd still be hanging around and you'd never got your chance to fulfill the assignment. It *was* the only possibility." Tyr's words showed his annoyance and lack of understanding for Beka's ideas.  
  
"Hey, stop! Wait a second! What's this sound," suddenly Beka stopped and held Tyr by his arm. "As if someone is in a hurry, running wild."  
  
"Don't you think that I've heard it before you did?" was Tyr even more annoyed. These humans! They really don't understand his genetic superiority! He heard that noise a while ago, but he didn't pay much attention. It was simply …. unthreatening.  
  
"Andromeda, what is it?" asked Beka.  
  
"Nothing really. Just Harper running down the corridor," answered Andromeda without showing herself.  
  
"Oh, then it's perfectly OK. He's probably chasing his dreams again," smiled Beka and forgot about that stump noise. She turned to Tyr again.  
  
In that moment, Harper ran around the corner. Without looking where he's going, he raced directly toward Tyr. Even the Nietzschean, with his superior senses was too slow to avoid the oncoming small engineer. He just opened his eyes wide and in the next moment Harper crashed directly into him. Although his body weight couldn't mach with Tyr's, he had such a speed on, that he simply overturned the big man.  
  
Suddenly, Tyr found himself lying on the ground, with Harper landing on him. In the split second, he could see Harpers wide opened eyes, filled with terror and something else too: three balloons, flying directly to his face. In the second moment, he felt like someone had thrown him into water. All three balloons splashed on his face, and the water did what it was supposed to do …. soaked him wet like he'd taken a good bath. It took him a second to gather his thoughts and then he grabbed Harper and threw him away.  
  
He fought to stand up, but spilled water made the floor quite sliding. His first attempt ended with a big BOOOOM as he fell back, with legs pointing straight to the ceiling. This was too much!! He is going to teach this annoying small human not to play with him!  
  
Meanwhile Harper managed to stand up and he once more proved, that he perfectly manages the art of disappearing. WHOOOSH! And he was gone!  
  
Finally in his second attempt, this time more carefully, Tyr stood up. His eyes gleamed furiously. He looked around to find that little skunk, not paying attention to the water dripping from his hair.  
  
Beka stood aside, with disbelief written in her face. Then she finally burst into wild laughter. Tyr couldn't find Harper, so he turned to Beka.  
  
"What the h… are you laughing about?" He was getting really mad.  
  
""Ha ha ha ha, Tyr," Beka almost choked, pointing with her finger to the Nietzschean. Seeing him completely wet, with his dreads hanging like a bunch of dead snakes from his head, water dripping from each of them and his face ……… a perfect picture of madness, confusion and will to kill. It really was too much. So she exploded into loud laughter.  
  
Well, Tyr didn't share her good mood and he lifted his hand threatening.  
  
Beka didn't pay much attention to him. She managed to speak, finally. "Tyr Anasazi, you look like a drowned rat!" And a new explosion of laughter echoed down the Andromeda's corridors. 


	3. Revenge of the wetties

Dylan stepped through the door on the command bridge, trying to wipe away water, which was still dripping from his hair. Look on his face revealed, that he was still upset from what just happened. Rommie and Rev were working on their consoles and didn't really register his entrance.  
  
"Rommie, status!"  
  
"We are just two light sec ............. " She looked at him and stopped talking. With wide-open mouth she stared at him.  
  
"Don't stare so idiotic at me," snapped Dylan. "You'd better get me some towel to dry myself."  
  
"I .... I wasn't staring," came Rommie to her senses. "Well, of course, I'll get you a towel. Just a moment." And she ran away.  
  
Rev looked at Dylan with his stoic expression, revealing nothing. Maybe just a glimpse of entertainment was to see in his eyes. Dylan didn't want to talk to anyone just at this moment, so he turned to the screen.  
  
Door opened again and Beka came in still laughing quietly. When she saw Dylan, she gasped for air and closed her mouth tightly not to burst in laughter again. After a while she managed to control herself and asked Dylan, who has been looking her, obviously annoyed: "Could it be, that you just had a close encounter wit Harper?"  
  
He nodded: "How do you know?"  
  
"You should see Tyr! His experience with Harper was even more ...... I should say ..... wet than yours!" And began to laugh again.  
  
"I don't know what is with that man. I know he's good for any joke, but this one ...... I think, I'll have to have a long talk with him. That is, when we find him." murmured Dylan and turned back to the screen.  
  
In that moment, Tyr entered. He didn't even try to dry himself. Anger was clearly written in his face and his eyes gleamed in desire to make Harper pay for his deed.  
  
Dylan looked at him and suddenly his face brightened. After all, he wasn't the only one to get wet. He looked sharply at Tyr and smiled suddenly. "Well, Tyr, hadn't you heard, that you should never take a shower when you're dressed?"  
  
"I wouldn't joke about it, if I were you," answered Tyr. "And, as I see, you made acquaintance with Harpers games too. Therefore, don't mess with me. I'm going to kill him!"  
  
"Oh no, you won't," firmly answered Dylan. "Yes, he deserves to be punished, but not according to your principles. This is my ship, and I'll decide."  
  
Rommie came in, carrying a towel for Dylan. As she saw Tyr, even she began to smile and said: "It's a pity I didn't know this before. I'd bring two towels at once." She handed a towel to Dylan and asked: "May I ask what happened? That is, if you ..... both .... are willing to talk about it."  
  
Dylan wrapped the towel around his head, starting to rub the hair and answered: "We both had the opportunity to check the effectiveness of water balloons, made by Harper."  
  
"Well, I should have known, he's behind this," smiled Rommie. "So, what are you intending to do with him?"  
  
Dylan thought for a moment and then said: "Perhaps he should experience it on his own skin! We could return him the same way, just a bit harder."  
  
They looked at each other and then began to smile. Even Tyr was slowly getting in better mood. He was still angry, but thoughts of killing Harper were slowly fading away.  
  
"And what exactly should we do," asked Beka.  
  
"You'll see!"  
  
Meanwhile Harper managed to his quarters and hid himself, panting heavily. He laid a long distance behind and was really tired. And also afraid, what Dylan and Tyr will do to him. He knew, that they would take revenge on him, he just didn't know when, where or how. So he began thinking, what to do in order to avoid it.  
  
Suddenly, Andromeda's voice broke the silence: "Harper, I need you immediately in mechanical shop. There's something wrong with my avatar!"  
  
Harper looked surprised to the screen, where Andromeda's image flickered. "What on earth could be wrong? I just checked her yesterday!"  
  
"I don't know. Please, hurry up!"  
  
"OK. I'm on my way!"  
  
Running to the mechanical shop, he thought to himself: "Could this be a trap? Naaah, I don't believe. They couldn't make a plan so quickly. Besides, who knows if they already met?"  
  
Along the way he met no one of the crew and finally coming to the shop, he stopped briefly in front of the door, to catch some breath. Then he opened the door and stepped inside.  
  
In the moment, he stepped inside the mechanical shop he knew he'd fallen in a trap. Rommie stood at the other wall, smiling at him wide. He tried to look around, but was too slow. Suddenly, Dylan, Tyr, Beka and Trance emerged and before he could identify the danger, he was in the center of the battlefield. From all sides, water balloons flew directly to him. First one was a bit short and exploded on the floor. It sprayed him a bit with blue colored water. Second and third ones were aimed better. One, containing red water hit him in his chest and second one with blue water again, splashed on his nose. Without hesitating he ran for the cover. Before he could reach some shelter, fourth balloon hit him on the back of his had.  
  
He finally reached some closets and threw himself behind them like a soccer goalkeeper, head ahead, without thinking what's behind the closet.  
  
"OOOOUUUUCCHHHH!" He bumped into another closet, much smaller, stowed behind the big one. A loud "BOOOOOIIIIING" echoed as he crashed into it. It was obviously completely empty and, unfortunately enough, it had no wheels. Harper felt like an egg, thrown against the wall, with his hands desperately trying to get some hold on smooth closet wall. He slowly slipped to the floor, pulling his feet into shelter, before fifth balloon followed him directly into his hideaway. This one sprayed him with green water.  
  
He waited for a moment but heard no voices or steps, so he cautiously protruded through gap between the closets. He saw Rommie and Rev standing at the wall, laughing them dead. But where were his attackers? He looked up, just in time to see a huge bucket, standing at the edge of the closet and slowly, very slowly, tipping over. He opened his eyes wide, unable to do anything. His feet and hands were like paralyzed and he just kept watching as the bucket overturned and saw a huge waterfall coming down on him. Nanoseconds later, he was feeling as if he'd be standing under Niagara Falls. There was water all around and for a moment he thought: "Man, next time I'll rather check if Rommie calls me!" After that he just wanted to get out of his shelter, which turned into a lake, with Harper gasping for air and feeling like a duck on the water.  
  
He managed to get out and stood up trembling. Suddenly he heard loud laughter. All the others were standing around him and laughing. Even Tyr had a huge smile on his face. He shrugged a bit at first, but then realized, that they have no intention to attack further. So he looked at them with wide opened, accusing eyes. He was at the edge of bursting into angry cry.  
  
Dylan stepped forward and put his hand on Harper's shoulder: "So, Mister Harper, how do you feel? Now you know, how Tyr and I felt when we were attacked by you!"  
  
"But ... but ... but ... I really didn't want to hit either you or Tyr! It was just an accident!" stuttered Harper, looking even unhappier.  
  
Rommie approached him with her hand behind back. In fear, he retreated one step, but then Rommie showed her hand, holding a mirror.  
  
With a wide smile she said: "Harper, you should look in the mirror!" and turned it, so Harper could see himself. As he saw his reflection, he jumped like a chinchilla with horror in his eyes.  
  
What he saw was really not like Seamus Z. Harper he knew. His hair clung from him like a wet rag, shining in red, blue and green colors. Streaks of color on his face made him look like an Indian warrior, heading for the battle. On his chin, a rest of a balloon made him look like a Perseid. He was in fact looking awful.  
  
"Your new look suits you perfectly," laughed Trance with certain evil expression.  
  
"And how will I get this colors off, huh?" protested Harper.  
  
"No problem. You'll just have to shower and scrub it off. And repeat this for about ten times. Then it should be gone," evilly grinned Beka.  
  
Seeing his trouble, Rommie offered a helping hand: "Come, Harper, I'll escort you to your quarters. I do need some repairs to be done, so, please, calm down and clean up. Come!" She took him by the hand and dragged him away, leaving a wet trail behind.  
  
Harper looked much happier and he asked: "Does this mean, you'll help me by shower?"  
  
Rommie looked at him with a slight annoyance and snapped: "Of course not! I'll just make sure, you do what you're supposed to do. Now stop fidgeting and go!"  
  
Harper followed her in resignation and thought to himself: "I'll be back! My revenge will be terrible!" 


End file.
